I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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