The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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