In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
