Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
