Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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