Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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