Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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