FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
