Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
