I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
