I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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