thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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