So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
