just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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