just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
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