I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
