Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
