There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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