Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
home. puking in laundry basket.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
