dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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