I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Randomize