I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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