PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dear god my vagina.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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