part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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