Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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