You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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