In the future we'll all be gay
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My hand turned me down
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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