Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
