The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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