Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
