Tell her she can't have a vagina
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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