Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
In America we eat man semen.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
