Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
