The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
