Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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