Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
