Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
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Do I have a choice?
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High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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