by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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