we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
