I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
