I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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