NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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