I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
