i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
