remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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