so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
