i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
