I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
