Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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