This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
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