I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
