Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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